The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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