I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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