while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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