She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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