Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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