She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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