Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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