there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
