He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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