I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
