The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
