Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
