we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
