She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
