How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
