You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
