I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
