Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
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I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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