I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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