i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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