i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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