Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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