There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
