Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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