I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
