Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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