Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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