I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
