i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
