yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
