I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize