I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
