glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
