Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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