I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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