I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
