Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
