I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
