i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it hurts more in the daytime
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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