is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
