how can u be prego again
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
