JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm at about main and main street
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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