you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
