How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
