Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
and she was petting her beer can
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
