so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
