epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
