I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
