What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
