Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
