think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
