we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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