we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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