I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
