I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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