My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize