No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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