flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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