he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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