Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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