i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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