Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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